{"id":174,"date":"2026-05-26T14:44:18","date_gmt":"2026-05-26T14:44:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/?p=174"},"modified":"2026-05-26T14:44:19","modified_gmt":"2026-05-26T14:44:19","slug":"174","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/?p=174","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"\n<style>\n  .tab-buttons button {\n    padding: 10px 20px;\n    margin-right: 5px;\n    border: none;\n    background: #ddd;\n    cursor: pointer;\n  }\n  .tab-buttons button.active {\n    background: #ffb300;\n    color: white;\n  }\n  .tab-content { display: none; margin-top: 20px; }\n<\/style>\n\n<div style=\"max-width:700px;margin:auto;font-family:Arial, sans-serif;\">\n  <h2>\ud83c\udf54 Fast\u2011Food Lifetime Calculator<\/h2>\n  <p>Select your preferred temple of processed joy.<\/p>\n\n  <div class=\"tab-buttons\">\n    <button onclick=\"openTab('greggs')\" class=\"active\">Greggs<\/button>\n    <button onclick=\"openTab('mcd')\">McDonald&#8217;s<\/button>\n    <button onclick=\"openTab('kfc')\">KFC<\/button>\n  <\/div>\n\n  <!-- GREGGS TAB -->\n  <div id=\"greggs\" class=\"tab-content\" style=\"display:block;\">\n    <h3>Greggs Calculator<\/h3>\n    <label>Years eating Greggs:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"g_years\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Sausage rolls per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"g_rolls\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Steak bakes per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"g_bakes\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <button onclick=\"calcGreggs()\" style=\"padding:10px 20px;background:#ffb300;color:white;border:none;margin-top:10px;\">\n      Calculate\n    <\/button>\n\n    <div id=\"g_results\" style=\"margin-top:20px;font-size:18px;font-weight:bold;\"><\/div>\n    <div id=\"g_fun\" style=\"margin-top:20px;\"><\/div>\n  <\/div>\n\n  <!-- MCDONALDS TAB -->\n  <div id=\"mcd\" class=\"tab-content\">\n    <h3>McDonald&#8217;s Calculator<\/h3>\n    <label>Years eating McDonald&#8217;s:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"m_years\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Chicken nuggets per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"m_nuggets\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Big Macs per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"m_bigmacs\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <button onclick=\"calcMcd()\" style=\"padding:10px 20px;background:#ffb300;color:white;border:none;margin-top:10px;\">\n      Calculate\n    <\/button>\n\n    <div id=\"m_results\" style=\"margin-top:20px;font-size:18px;font-weight:bold;\"><\/div>\n    <div id=\"m_fun\" style=\"margin-top:20px;\"><\/div>\n  <\/div>\n\n  <!-- KFC TAB -->\n  <div id=\"kfc\" class=\"tab-content\">\n    <h3>KFC Calculator<\/h3>\n    <label>Years eating KFC:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"k_years\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Pieces of chicken per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"k_chicken\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <label>Zinger burgers per week:<\/label>\n    <input id=\"k_zingers\" type=\"number\" style=\"width:100%;padding:8px;\"><br>\n\n    <button onclick=\"calcKfc()\" style=\"padding:10px 20px;background:#ffb300;color:white;border:none;margin-top:10px;\">\n      Calculate\n    <\/button>\n\n    <div id=\"k_results\" style=\"margin-top:20px;font-size:18px;font-weight:bold;\"><\/div>\n    <div id=\"k_fun\" style=\"margin-top:20px;\"><\/div>\n  <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n<script>\nfunction openTab(tab) {\n  document.querySelectorAll('.tab-content').forEach(t => t.style.display = 'none');\n  document.querySelectorAll('.tab-buttons button').forEach(b => b.classList.remove('active'));\n  document.getElementById(tab).style.display = 'block';\n  event.target.classList.add('active');\n}\n\n\/\/ RANDOM WEIRD FACT GENERATOR\nfunction weirdFact(value) {\n  const facts = [\n    `That's enough to fill ${Math.round(value \/ 42)} wheelbarrows, assuming the wheelbarrow is emotionally prepared.`,\n    `Equivalent to the weight of ${Math.round(value \/ 7)} mildly annoyed badgers.`,\n    `If stacked, they'd reach ${Math.round(value \/ 3)} times the height of a giraffe on stilts.`,\n    `Scientifically speaking, that's ${Math.round(value \/ 19)} units of \"oh dear\".`,\n    `Enough to power ${Math.round(value \/ 88)} small villages if food regret was a renewable energy.`,\n    `Roughly the same mass as ${Math.round(value \/ 55)} confused otters.`,\n    `Equivalent to ${Math.round(value \/ 12)} double\u2011deckers if the buses were made of pastry.`,\n    `If laid end to end, they'd stretch further than your will to diet.`,\n    `NASA has confirmed this equals ${Math.round(value \/ 9000)}% of the recommended daily shame.`,\n    `This is comparable to ${Math.round(value \/ 101)} adult humans, assuming those humans were made entirely of snacks.`\n  ];\n  return facts[Math.floor(Math.random() * facts.length)];\n}\n\n\/\/ GREGGS\nfunction calcGreggs() {\n  const y = +document.getElementById(\"g_years\").value;\n  const r = +document.getElementById(\"g_rolls\").value;\n  const b = +document.getElementById(\"g_bakes\").value;\n\n  const weeks = y * 52;\n  const rolls = Math.round(weeks * r);\n  const bakes = Math.round(weeks * b);\n\n  document.getElementById(\"g_results\").innerHTML =\n    `Sausage Rolls: ${rolls}<br>Steak Bakes: ${bakes}`;\n\n  const total = rolls + bakes;\n  document.getElementById(\"g_fun\").innerHTML = weirdFact(total);\n}\n\n\/\/ MCDONALDS\nfunction calcMcd() {\n  const y = +document.getElementById(\"m_years\").value;\n  const n = +document.getElementById(\"m_nuggets\").value;\n  const bm = +document.getElementById(\"m_bigmacs\").value;\n\n  const weeks = y * 52;\n  const nuggets = Math.round(weeks * n);\n  const bigmacs = Math.round(weeks * bm);\n\n  document.getElementById(\"m_results\").innerHTML =\n    `Nuggets: ${nuggets}<br>Big Macs: ${bigmacs}`;\n\n  const total = nuggets + bigmacs;\n  document.getElementById(\"m_fun\").innerHTML = weirdFact(total);\n}\n\n\/\/ KFC\nfunction calcKfc() {\n  const y = +document.getElementById(\"k_years\").value;\n  const c = +document.getElementById(\"k_chicken\").value;\n  const z = +document.getElementById(\"k_zingers\").value;\n\n  const weeks = y * 52;\n  const chicken = Math.round(weeks * c);\n  const zingers = Math.round(weeks * z);\n\n  document.getElementById(\"k_results\").innerHTML =\n    `Chicken Pieces: ${chicken}<br>Zingers: ${zingers}`;\n\n  const total = chicken + zingers;\n  document.getElementById(\"k_fun\").innerHTML = weirdFact(total);\n}\n<\/script>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\ud83c\udf54 Fast\u2011Food Lifetime Calculator Select your preferred temple of processed joy. Greggs McDonald&#8217;s KFC Greggs Calculator Years eating Greggs: Sausage rolls per week: Steak bakes per week: Calculate McDonald&#8217;s Calculator Years eating McDonald&#8217;s: Chicken nuggets per week: Big Macs per week: Calculate KFC Calculator Years eating KFC: Pieces of chicken per week: Zinger burgers per&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"yes","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=174"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":177,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions\/177"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errols.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}